Its an Experience

All of it, from the failed attempts to buy a pair of pants at the centro commercial, to making my second mom, Elisa, laugh for the first time (in Spanish), to getting joked for being a gringo who cant speak ¨castellano¨, to getting complemented, by the same person, on my improvement in just one day, its all so fluid. Just a constant ebb and flow of success and failure, stepping outside of myself only to get flung back to the ground.
And then you pick yourself up. Get back on the Chama bus, pay your sol and 20 (like 40 cents, everything is so inexpensive here. in the battle of prices, twin awesome one (me) and twin buttface zero (Char Char Binx, aka my sisteer, Charlottle Howell. Ok, thats enough for the parenthesees).
I guess the bus ride today was just part of it. Carlos and I, after riding the crazy ass bus system in Lima for 2 hours with one of our directors to explain to us what to do, where to go, etc., etc., were ready to do it ourselves. Oh, Carlos is the other student whose living with me--his family is from Mexico, he's fluent, he stuies biology, and he's mad cool.
Jesus titty fín Christ, did I tell you how nuts the bus system is in Lima. They have a cargardor, who pimps out his ride to anybody, because they love to cram this tiny van converted into a bus line with 50 people (=60 soles for them) that usually can fit, let's give them 15. Come on. Seriously, dude. Seriously. Really, really....come on, dude.
F me. Then they have a route, but sometimes they don't take it because the driver feels like going and seeing an amigo in a different district and so you get lost and i freaking got to shrink to the size of a hobbit to fit in, because who knew Peru wasn't made for 6'3 dudes, come on. In all seriousness though, I'm freaking really big for Peru.
I don´t know how , but somehow I followed the bus route on my map, saw we were about to pass our street then, you have to to make them stop, yelled ¨Baja!¨aka I'm going out,and made the bus stop. We got out, took a breathe, and we did it. We freaking did it. Suck it, Lima. I am a master of all that is manly and all that has to do with buses and shit. Oh yeh, it feels good. It feels reallll gooooooodd.
Bueno, the second challenge for the day was meeting my program director. But she was amazing, very nice, and complemented me on my Spanish after slamming me down. We were all together, program directors and studetns, at a mini'suare in a classroom at the Unviersity El Pacifico, where we always meet for lectures or to depart on our introductory excursions. We talked for a half hour, she told me I would be doing a couple things int he office to start, for a week, so I can learn and see how the project goes, then I go, everyday, into the poor areas around Lima, to one school, where I will play with the kids, get to know the families, then lead workshops teaching the parents ways to better their kid's educational opportunities and lives.
Oh my god. That's the first time I have written that out. Wow. I am a little shocked right now. What a weight of responsibility. Just something so minute but I have the ability to really do something, to be someting to someone else. To help them. It is such a tremendous burden that makes me a little scared to face it. More terrified. It is not just about me anymore. Time to grow, real fast, for them, to get strong for the challenge. I guess I'm a little scared, still, but also ready. I think so.
But anyway, that was fantastic, it's exactly where I want to be, and she was so sweet, has a son at UT (hook em' horns) studying to be a rocket scientist (for real) and a daughter, both from an IB school. The daughter is 15, so shut the freak up, Matt. Shut it, no joke allowed, not at all, stop. Seriously, rape Troy day was fun, but, just, stop.
Anyway again, after we talked, she introduced the organization to everyone, then me, said I was great, but she was not sure if I understood everything. Everyone laughed, then I paused for dramatic effect, and said ¨Puedo entender todo¨, I can understnad everything. Another laugh, then I explained my role, very presicely, and after I was done, she said to me in Spanish, you get an A for that.
A similar turnabout came with my host mom, Elisa. The family, the friends, Maria (a cook of epic ability, holy carp, like she should be on top Chef or something nuts like that) and everyone in the house has been so overwhelming kind and welcoming and open. I've loved it. But it started to wear on me, not the people, but the day of Spanish. And while we were talking about calling cab companies, Elisa said Carlos has to call, becasue I sound like a gringo. Of course I know that, but it was a little rough at the time, I do not know. But latyer in the meal, after talking, she said that she was so impressed with how much I have improved in one day, because I spoke well but now I'm speaking better, to put it roughly. It was a little victory, I guess. It felf good, yo no se.
But I realized something today. Things are going to be up and down. Things are not always perfect, and it is a struggle. But it is also an experience. Its a journey, through tests and challenges, from bus to bus, person to person, and I guess what is important is that I am here, I am trying. And the failures and successes inspire in the same. Because one is nothing without the other. And the experience is vapid when one is left out.

To bed, I'm exhausted, but I miss you all, love the posts, love life, love Bawls, love you mom and dad and Char, Clif is gay, and we'll see how this ride unwinds, more to come tomorrow.
PS Santi, talked to your borther, will hang out soon. Brad, Clif, Rage, and all those who are worshippers of Guarana--freaking national drink of Peru is Inca Cola, with the active ingredient of Guarana!!! Oh my freaking freak my butt. I'm home, as the prophecy foretold, for it was told, from the Quatch. Pttth (for Joyce).